staying alive

25 years and counting..

2009-05-11T13:00:00.000+08:00

just want to greet myself a happy (very happy) birthday.. :)

so many updates, can no longer remember the rest..

2009-05-01T16:08:00.003+08:00

Here are some. These happened since after I posted the entry before this.

1.) I was robbed. Hahahaha.. Kamusta naman diba..?

'Wag na pong pag-usapan please..

2.) I was finally flagged as NCNS (No Call No Show) at work.

An office mate asked a swap schedule because he needed to go home. I agreed, for the first time, because I was sick and I needed rest. And, maybe, expecting a returned favor once I needed it. They didn't give me a written warning though because it wasn't my fault -- I was misinformed unintentionally. Sa mga nagtatanong kung anong ibig sabihin ng NCNS, sige magtanong nalang kayo para may comment naman 'tong blog na'to.

Big deal ho ito dahil feel ko..

3.) I get sick over and over.

Last time, I was enduring to a massive pain in my head four days. I called in not to work for a day. I used to report before though I'm experiencing mild fever for like a week long but that instance was unbearable. I felt like I needed to submit myself to a hospital because it was affecting my eyes.

The next day, I went to work. I had to. :(

4.) I'm trying hard not to hate people.

But it seems that they want me to condemned them for the rest of my stay in that place. My room mates just suck.

But of course, may natatangi din akong plastikan skill kaya keri nalang -- for now. And parang nauubos ang pera ko sa one-month-advance-one-month-deposit agreement na yan..

5.) I am now a Universal Agent. Pucking syet.

Which makes me think twice again. Did I ever mentioned that I was skilled to Customer Service team? Yes I was and said -- "I could stay for a year or so." I actually asked to be transferred when I still was a newbie. Finally, early this year God got tired of me whining almost all the time, I guess. But then they decided to even out the incentives (what incentives..?), which means we are going to take both retention and CS calls. Great.

There are days na lumilipad ang keyboard or mouse sa'kin, talagang nakakasira nang araw ang retention calls na yan.

6.) My father is better now.

He was hospitalized. May tumubo sa tiyan n'ya banda and there was a lot of blood mixed with puss in it daw. It needs to be open and we were scared because he is diabetic. But thank God he's getting better and better, he can move and go to church on his own now. Although, we're still closely monitoring his health because it's not totally healed.

7. ) I'm starting to invest.

It's not yet fully paid but I like to think that I got something to look forward to out of sleep deprivation. Hihihi..

8.) I'm eating much.

I'm taking vitamins napo. Not free though -- too bad. Nagva-vitamins ako kunyari dati kasi libre yun, bigay daw ng Department of Health chuva. I realized that I needed it everyday, just one way in boosting my appetite lang po. Aside from nangayayat ako, I feel so stressed at the end of my shift. Sabi ko nga sa dati kong entry na I feel like it's going to be the end of the world after my shift.

9.) Lola came to visit.

Though we didn't go out of the city to visit some elite places or some sort but I had fun. I missed old times, old friends.

10.) A lot of you asked me this same question every time I buzz you guys -- "Naa naka boyfriend 'te?"

Wala. Wala. Wala. Okay? Okay.

to be cont'd..

just an update..

2009-01-31T11:50:00.004+08:00

I intentionally did not update my page for some reasons. I thought of it as a million dollar task and would only stress me more by just thinking of what would be its title – but my blog here would serve no purpose then. :D

Speaking of staying alive, I was deliberately trying to – to make myself look like a truly responsible slash independent slash mature slash whatever-word- that-belongs-to-the-group person.

First, I was on the verge of letting go of my job. Yes. I was also considering A.W.O.L. – para santong paspason at matapos na ang kalukuhang ito. It took me every ounce of courage (accompanied by whining, of course) every night to get myself off my bed and go to work. It's the job again. I’m tired. I feel like it’s the end of the world before and after my shift. I was also beginning to consider health-check any time soon if I continue depriving myself having a good night sleep.

Until I declared an ultimatum, I’m going to wait for my appraisal, be regularized and resign – or better yet leave before that. It’s a closed deal. I told my sister what I’m planning and she’ll back me up though she’s encouraging me to stay put for a while. It’s hard to find a job, she said, and it got me thinking. As I weighed every inch of my decision, I should more likely stay than leave – at least not any sooner. When this was happening, my appraisal was then few more days to go. When that day came, I was fine by the result and let’s count that as one of the reasons why I’m still part of the company.

During those days as well, my companions were lining up on the resignation list. I thought I should start writing mine too but thinking it would be one of the most immature decisions I’m going to make to start of my New Year, I put the task on hold – on hold huh..

Anyway, life must go on as they say and so be it. As long as I have the slightest doubt of quitting, I’ll stay. I don’t exercise positive thinking – I never did. It’s what I can do and that’s it.

Moving forward, I’m planning nothing but to work for the next month. You know what when I was granted and taking advantage of my prolong leave in December, I was real happy and relax. I never had the thought of missing my job but it was distressing when I came back days before payday knowing my co-workers were going to get double pays for the Holidays work and me getting nothing but a couple of bucks. It is one fact that keeps me in this job as well, though I’m tired but ten days of sleep deprivation will be compensated enough.

For this month, I only had one rest day for each week because of mandatory overtime. It’s very stressful to tell you the truth because a night of rest is nothing at all if I wanted to regain my strength.

Haaay.. Whatever.

Anyway, my update for today is not supposed to end like this but I have to go to sleep. I need it more than anything else. life must go on indeed..

to be cont'd..

it wasn't that bad..

2009-01-01T17:31:00.003+08:00

Well, New Year was fine. I managed not to cry. Thankfully my name was not listed as expected employees to report on duty last night so I welcomed 2009 by not taking calls.

I spent my entire evening downtown. And thankfully everybody who noticed me being alone seemed to sympathize.

But first, I would like to thank my pocket book. Since there was nobody to chat for long, I dedicated myself reading few chapters from time to time.

Thanks to Starbucks guard as well for the perfect Customer Service and for the quickie friendship. Kudos to you Manong.. :)

Thank you to the friendly cab driver who took me to the right place to hang out after Starbucks. Surely I can't remember my way back there, God knows, but it is nice there. I would definitely come back. Anyway, I had few bottles and friendly smiles from the waiters so kudos to ya'll too. :) I stayed their for a couple of hours.

I didn’t find it lonely anymore as 12midnight was closing because people started their fireworks here and there. It rained with fireworks on that street and I just had fun. I was scared because it’s just in front of the bar and it’s an open bar. It was my first time witnessing such fireworks and it’s amazing.

Almost 11PM, I decided to leave. For a while I thought I’m going to be stuck their considering the fireworks going on and it’s close to midnight, there might be no cabs around. Thankfully, one arrived. I asked the driver to pass IT Park before going back to my apartment. I planned to stop by if there’s a countdown going on there but there was none so I decided not to come out from the cab.

Technically at exactly 12MN, the cab stopped at the gate of my apartment and I sat at the porch for a while since there were more fireworks going on around my building. Awesome. I spent 10 minutes there along with mosquitoes.

By 2AM, I finally went to sleep.

What a New Year.

today is 19th of December

2008-12-19T15:17:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY jhaud

will be there soon..

2008-12-05T11:05:00.001+08:00

I'm excited. ;)

much love..

2008-11-16T09:57:00.010+08:00

Happy birthday to my niece Gin

Belated happy wedding anniversary to PaMa (Nov. 07)

i LOve yOu gUys. i miSS yOU a LOt.

new place, no plans

2008-11-16T09:21:00.003+08:00

Though my new place is better than all of the place I've lived in this shitty town but still it's nothing like home. People around is okay but I'm trying to live invisible.

I'm soooo.. syet.

My new place didn't suggest any idea such as "it's going to be allright, you'll stay here for years.." or "invest for more and keep it real in here.."

Whatever.

Kapoy.

things i realized they just happened..

2008-10-28T14:55:00.003+08:00

.. and I didn't like most of it.

1. I was forced to buy a fan. I was provided one along with a contract of course but my landlady asked to get it back the other week because their fan broke. So I force myself not to make face in front of her. That's the part I didn't like, I'm supposed to make her feel she broke the contract we had before I moved in.

2. Ate's AC Adapter was supposed to be released last weekend. We ordered week before last but it wasn't processed. And so I have to spend to buy a new book again. Without something to do after work while trying to get sleepy is suicidal.

3. My fan broke after few days. Bad thing is the Service Center is located at nowhereland. So I had to force myself and withdraw the last drop of money I had in my account and buy a new one -- again. Now, I'm poor.

4. I kept on following up my planned leave for this December but since my supervisor is "kind of" busy (whatever) I just had to force myself not to take my second plan (yet) which is to go home and declare it as AWOL. Hhhmm.. Interesting.

5. I lost my budget list and I'm running out of mineral water now.

6. I found a new place to move in this weekend. What's ticking me off is I had to wait until then to get the hell out of my hell mode place and had to agonize myself every time I see the landlady. I just h_t_ her.

7. I was late for work the other night. I modified my cellphone's profile and it didn't vibrate when it alarmed. So it took me sometime to absorb it, the thing is it's a written warning that's why it bothered me a while. I literally told myself that 'you don't like your job so get over it', minutes later I'm having the time of my life, sprawled on my bed and reading when my phone rang. My supervisor asked someone to call me and ask what happen. Damn. So I drag myself to work. Life sucks.

Sa kadahilanang wala lang magawa, magko-Q & A tayo..

2008-10-21T11:34:00.003+08:00

Honestly, are you in love right now?
Pupusta ako pag yan nangyari sa mga panahong eto..

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
It's always been black.

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
What to do after I go offline -- whether to jump off this building or close my eyes for 5 hours more or less to finally get to sleep.

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Doing some nonsense stuff like this while thinking what to do next that's more nonsense than this.

Honestly, what did you do today?
12:00AM : I logged in for work
01:00AM : I took my first break at work
03:30AM : I took my fucking second break at work
05:00AM : I had my luch at work
09:00AM : I logged out from work
.. Few minutes after I felt like eating a donut. Sugar rush.

Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
If I'm going to say no, would it make a difference?

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
I always do.

Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
Nuh-uh, if I'm not at home. My nephew and niece would kill me for that channel.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
No. Well, not unless if I see someone eating a pint of mango flavored icecream. That would bolt me out of this chair and go directly to Select and buy one for myself.

Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
If I hear my family smile over the phone. :(
And if money would not ever bother me.

Honestly, do you bite your nails?
Before I was a complete nailbiter freak. Believe me, I look like a retard before.

Honestly, what is your mood right now?
Hell mode. Dang, it's f*ckin' warm in here.

Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?
G or miSt (code names)

Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
Who doesn't?

Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
I tend not to. Gosh, I barely even getting a life on track, what more if I'm going to spend my time hating someone else.

Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
WHO : That -- I'm going to think first. Hindi sa ang dami nila but there's really none. :D
WHAT : I miss my hotdog pillow. I always have had one.

Honestly, do your wrists hurt?
It's been my back since I got this freakin' job..

Honestly, are you in denial?
Who? Me?

Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?
Can somebody make that happen..?

Honestly, is it easier to talk through social websites than in person?
I seldom give out emotional response online. I mean, too emotional. It's not me.

Honestly, does anyone like you?
I wish I knew one..

Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
????

Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
Honestly..? I did. Amazingness. :D

same same

2008-10-20T10:57:00.002+08:00

Not much to say.. It's been the same since.

Work. Eat. Sleep. And it goes over and over 5 days in a week and life is somehow meaningful during Saturday and Sunday -- it's my so called rest day.

walang kakwenta kwenta

2008-10-06T12:50:00.002+08:00

Somehow nakakamiss din pala ang school.. Hihihi..

Atat na atat akong grumajuweyt from iskwela dati pero ngayon, parang gusto ko na ulit magpabuhay at maging palamunin for another 4years -- or so..

Ang sama ng thought..

learning but still..

2008-09-21T12:16:00.003+08:00

We do have this program for newbies, it's called E.S.P.N. It's not the tv channel, it's an acronym (kaya nga may dot eh) Every week, we have to passed some kind of ratingssssssss. As in marami po and dapat balance sya and a newbie is supposed to get at least passing rate of 3 (a total of all rates) for last week. Awa ng Diyos pare naka-4 ako, 'kalain mo yun.. For this week, I don't have any idea if I'll pass. ( .. will tell ya ;) ) If we'll pass three consecutive weeks, we'll graduate from being a newbie or something. If we don't, we're given some length of time to cope and pass. If wala pajud, bakwit nalang daw (joke) we'll be recieving an award -- verbal warning, written warning or kung anumang warning. Pagnagka-warning ka pare, ibang usapan na yun.

Anyway, I'm trying to learn, pass everything I need to pass as an agent then ask permission to apply for whatever other than an agent. So kunyari may goal ako dapat. You need to have a good performance record before you can change whatever tasks you have, as they say. So that's why I'm trying my best, obviously it doesn't mean that I'm liking it.

still trying to adapt..

2008-09-15T10:35:00.002+08:00

I moved in to a new room last night. It's quite nicer than the first one but there are things that I still don't like. But have to get used to it nalang muna.

It's been a month since I moved in here in Cebu but I'm still trying to adapt to everything -- sa work, sa place, sa mga tao, sa cost of living (medyo kataasan comapred to Davao), sa mga jeepney routes (until now, isang route lang ang alam ko -- ang papuntang workplace lang), pati narin sa mga taxi drivers (na pag tinanong mo in bisaya, sasagutin ka sa tagalog -- kaya mo yun..?), and sasali ko na rin mga snatchers na na-amazed ako kahit papano dahil angat sila compared to ours sa Davao -- mas sosyal pare.

Anyway, I'll be working again later tonight. Haaaay..

sa lobby, bow.

2008-09-07T05:47:00.004+08:00

I asked my supervisor last Wednesday if I could go to the clinic after first few hours of my shift. I was not really feeling well. The resident nurse gave me 3 different tablets and an hour of rest. I decided to just take my rest at the lobby since it's nearer than the sleeping room. I was there together with the guards lying on the couch. All of us were so sleepy but I guess I was not just sleepy then. I was sleepy, sad, and stressed. :(

When I was about to go back taking calls again, I took some time to ponder what's really wrong because normally if I don't feel well, I just grab something and make myself busy. I sometimes read or write if I'm sad or magne-nailpolish nalang. And then I cried. I did. Walang pasabi, talagang tumulo luha ko. I went to the rest room instead and tried to divert my thoughts -- but I wasn't successful because one of my batchmates was there and bigla nya 'kong tinanong "Hi, Joy. How are you?" -- Oh diba.. tumulo na naman luha ko. She tried to comfort and empathize, appreciate that Kai. Thank you. :)

Few hours after, I was back on the floor, putting a smile on my face every time I say "Thank you for calling..", and pretending it's just another day of my work and is about to end. Anumang gawin ko, there's still tommorow, next week, and even 6 more months. Damn.

rest day najud

2008-08-30T13:15:00.004+08:00

Hihihi..

Yeah, it's just another day -- but it's my first rest day since I got officially employed. :)

repost entry

2008-08-29T11:31:00.003+08:00

I have a private blog by the way and I thought I just repost my latest entry here because first, I just got out from work and I'm tired. Second, it's really what I'm going to say as of the moment. And third, I'm really tired.

This is a little sad by the way but just don't mind me being too emotional about everything I say. It's about -- everything din naman talaga. Hehehe..

To be honest..? -- I'm not happy with what I'm doing. I'm proud that I'm part of PeopleSupport and I would really want to stay for long. The thing is, I badly need more drive or motivation as well interest towards my tasks. It's bad because no matter how I think about the opportunity, the compensation, and the ground I'm at for some self-improvement but unfortunately it's really taking me down. Kahit sabihin pa nilang "It's normal since you're a newbie. In time you will learn" -- I know for sure I'll get used to it and learn a lot but right now I'll tell straight to your faces guys that I'm not happy, I'm not excited. I DO NOT HAVE PASSION IN SELLING OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT. PERIOD.
Anyway, a batchmate of mine and I had a chance to talk to our supervisor this lunch and I told her about it. She said it's a good thing I let her know about it so she'll know where to go about me. Thanks supe, that's something to be filed under MOTIVATION then..
For now, guess just have to go about everything. And antos lang jud ta ani. I'm working not just for the compensation but at least because I have a strong drive to do such thing.

I texted everybody back home and they're really concern of what's going on with me here in Cebu. Wow, I'm touched, hehehe.. Hahaaay.. I miss you guys, every time I remember them naiiyak ako.. I miss Prince and Josh, I miss PaMa's company, I miss my brother's presence, I miss everybody and I'm going to cry now.. :'(
Good thing Ate will be here this weekend and I dont have work Sun and Mon so we'll have time together and by the way, it's her 35th birthday this Sunday. She said she wants to eat at Insular's buffet dining and joked me about paying it. Hahaha.. Nice 'te. Well sure, why not. It's my time to repay my sister. She's been there for me no matter what and she gave me tons and tons of help ever since. Aside from my parents, she's a mentor and a great person not to forget to though medyo may katigasan ang ulo nito sometimes. Hihihi..

Anyway, I recieved my ATM card a while back and so excited about it. Well not really the card itself but what's the card is going to give me later. Hahaha..

i'm just feeling bored

2008-08-25T15:18:00.002+08:00

I guess I'm not yet getting used to being in this new city. Missing everybody back home is given but I also understand why I'm here. It's just that, I'm having a hard time how to deal with it when I'm out from work. Aside from getting some good sleep, I only tire myself from roaming around SM and Ayala most time of the day. It's getting boring, you know. When I'm back in to my room, I find myself doing wordsearch or listening music. And you bet, it won't let me last for more hours so I would go out again -- alone -- looking for not-so-boring thing to do..

Damn shit mani uy.. Suggestions daw be.

bitches..

2008-08-23T21:13:00.003+08:00

stupid s_p_, moron customer.. mga taong kulang sa people kills talaga. puta jud..

Final Assessment - Done

2008-08-20T13:42:00.002+08:00

We had our final assessment last night and I passed -- I think. Hehehe.. Anyway, we'll be having our nesting later (1:30AM-10:30AM), oh diba todo na ito.

assessment day

2008-08-19T17:05:00.002+08:00

We'll have our final exam later tonight and I'm crossing my fingers for that. Hehehe.. The things we had discussed wasn't that hard though, it's just that it's a lot of information to absorb in days. But hey.. It's all good, I can do this. I've been through a lot and I mean A LOT.

Goodluck to me then. Hihihi..

quick update

2008-08-16T10:28:00.005+08:00

July 25 - Training is done. I passed. :)
August 01 - Moved my things from my apartment to my parent's house.
August 08 - Had my orientation for my relocation.
August 09 - Had dinner with everybody (family)
August 10 - left Davao at 9:25AM. :(
August 12 - New Hire Orientation at PeopleSupport - Cebu

miSt

August 13 - Client Specific Training (SCHEDULE: 10PM - 6AM --> wow.. amazingness )
August 14 - Shake a hand with Rich (sister's boyfriend)
August 15 - Last day of training for this week -- and I badly needed sleep..

things I don't like during my training

2008-07-15T18:40:00.002+08:00

1. waking up early in the morning
2. wearing closed shoes everyday
3. sudden change in temperature
4. slips during one-on-one activity
5. no tissue available in the bathroom
6. having activities such as verb tenses & aspects and reconstructing sentences
7. someone from the trainees (hala na..)
8. faking my enthusiasm during my phone sim
9. minutes before my turn for the weekend assessment
10. the chair

to be cont'd..

I'm feeling unwell today.

2008-07-07T21:03:00.005+08:00

I almost ask my trainer this morning that I want to go home and take a rest but I forced myself. I was fighting between my temparature and the lower temp. that we have from the airconditioner. Thank goodness I felt a little better after lunch and another medicine.

By the way, I like to share this, our training starts at 7:00PM and I was never late. Hehehe.. I'm guilty of procrastination when I was in college but I'm really trying so hard to get off bed by 5:45 at a maximum. Hahaha.. Sometimes I'm drinking my coffee and my eyes are still close. And sometimes I say my morning prayer in the bathroom because I'm too sleepy to say it before I get off from my bed.

Anyway, I hope it'll pays off in the end. Well, it will for sure but I hope it will -- the way I thought it would be.

on going training

2008-07-03T19:44:00.003+08:00

Wow. As in W-O-W. Hahaha.. I can't believe I'm doing it. I have gone through an almost the same training like this before during my internship but this wasn't as serious as before.

I have to set my alarm at exactly 5:30 in the morning or else I'm screwed with my 7:00AM schedule. It ends at 3 in the afternoon and approximately 30 minutes after 3, I'm eating my supper. And around 9, I'm sound asleep.

Adie is right, I graduated from Hibernate University last week. It's not really very easy to change course of life or schedule but I am trying and giving out my best to get through this.

Before the training, I'm used to sleeping at around 5 in the morning but now, my day starts at 5:30. I'm trying to get used to it specially from the kind of job I will have in few days time -- just in case.

Another thing I would like to share is that, I'm leaving. And it's starting to hit me. Hehehe.. At first, I was more like eh ganun talaga eh but whenever I think about it now -- I'm feeling sad. Good thing PaMa are not showing it on their faces every time we talk about it but I know they will definitely miss me. I will too. :( Well, for my remaining days here in the city, except my training days, I will go home. That's about less than a month from now.